Emilio's Fighting Force
by Taenzcher
Summary: Emilio has to convince one of his best to get over her fears and rejoin those in the fray. Set in an alternate universe. One-shot hilarity.


"I was kidnapped! I was held prisoner by other fictional characters! I escaped as soon as I could!" she pleads with the officer, a tall super-hot woman named Beth. Beth stares at her in disbelief, a tired look in her eyes.

"You were off-shift for years, T. I had to look after the Guns all by myself. What was I supposed to think?"

T. stares at the floor, at a loss for a reply. What Beth said was true. She had been gone an obscene amount of time, and she had neglected the Guns in her time off. Inexcusable. Practically grounds for a dismissal. Ensign Marvel Moki wanders in now, taking in the scene. She clears her throat.

"Ahem, guys. Emilio is here."

"Oh great." Loofah Commander Beth sighs, "And Her Royal Absentness here in all her glory, too. I gotta change. Don't let him in till I'm done, ya hear?"

Moki nods at her commander, and turns to T.

"I'm sorry!" T. begins, but Moki interrupts.

"You know, belonging to the Force for Fan Enlightenment and Satisfaction isn't a game. It's a responsibility. A serious one."

T. lowers her head, nodding. She knew that when she signed on and put that uniform on. She remembers that sacredness every time she sees a line on a potential Post that has no chance of satisfying the fans. But she got scared off when Ryder Block came knocking on her door.

"You know what the Block can do, T. You were good at running him off. I think for a while he was actually afraid of us, was going to give up terrorizing the Fanpages. People were counting on you."

"I know, Moke, but I was patrolling the Pages one day, and I saw this Heading, and man, the Heading was great. The first page was even better. The Rookies are starting to make me feel old...old and useless. What's the use of me even being in the Force anymore?"

Migratory Chief Amber comes in at that point. She stares at the pair of officers in disbelief.

"I am noooot hearing this! T. can't leave the force, AWOL time notwithstanding! Nobody just _leaves_ the force! You know that."

T. stands with defiance shining in her eyes. Migratory Chief or not, nobody can tell T. what to do.

"Can't leave? I've disappointed fans everywhere by my lack of vigilance! I'm a disgrace of the Fan Pages! Besides, there are plenty of Gun Rookies to look after things, Chief. And besides...Look! Cupcakes!"

T. throws a handful of cupcakes in the opposite direction, hoping to escape. Her plans are foiled by Amber and Moki, who snatch the cupcakes out of the air with agility not seen unaided by special effects, and eat them. Amber, conjuring a glass of milk, continues,

"Even Rookies need a trainer. And the Guns have gotten used to you; some of them even like you, I think."

"Oh, thanks a _million,_ Chief." Stupid cupcakes...

"Don't you take that font with me, General. You know it's hard for the Guns to trust anyone, much less one as sporadic in Post Patrol as you."

Emilio wanders in, obviously not caring that he is disobeying She Who Must Be Obeyed, who, incidentally, is still choosing her outfit.

"Been a while, T."

"Hi, Emilio. Uhm, sorry I haven't been around, I uh, had to, you know, and things...came up and stuff..."

Behind her, T. hears snorts and half-covered giggles from the ranks and her fellow Senior Officers.

"Oh shut up!" she yells at them, "Let's see any of you talk to Emilio with coherency!"

"T.? A little focus, please. I think it's time you went on a little Post Patrol again. The Guns are a little restless, and they're still a little anxious about their minority status."

"Pa-patrol? But, it's been years! I can't! I don't even have that many Reviewers! I'll be out there with no back up! Everybody knows that a good Patrol has lots of Reviewers!"

"Your Review Squad can handle it, I think. And you'll be patrolling my area, so I think I have a pretty good idea of what is necessary."

"Uhm, not to disagree, but...I disagree."

Beth slides down the staircase banister, flipping in the air and landing perfectly next to Emilio, around whom she wraps both of her arms. She fixes Imperious General T. with a steely gaze.

"If Emilio says it, so shall it be done. Begone with you, woman, and I don't want to see your face or that uniform until your full Post Patrol report is in!"

"But, ah, what if I need back up?" T.'s eyes are wide and in tremendous puppy-pleading form.

"You've never needed back up in your life. Patrol is second, no, first nature to you. And your most loyal Reviewers are right behind you." Ensign Marvel Moki jumps in, handing T. her badge, sash, and Typo-rifle.

Imperious General T. turns and sees Avatars and Reviewers of all types, Underscored and No-Spaced alike, waiting to support her. She chokes back a few tears and cocks her Typo-rifle.

"Ok. Ok I'll do it."

The Palace of Fan Legion Headquarters erupts in cheers, and fictional characters of all persuasions clap for their returned fallen hero, who requested long ago to never be called heroine, because her beat has enough problems.

"Let's lock and load, peeps. Fantasies to be Fulfilled."

----In case this seemed terribly disjointed and nonsensical, well, it was supposed to. It was merely meant as a fun story that also doubled as a thank you and an apology to my league of fans, as well as a shout out to all those who fight in the Fan Service. Live long and prosper, dudes.----


End file.
